Epic Parenting Wins
Parenting can be challenging; though it does come with many wonderful memorable moments. These moments begin as early as a child learns to crawl – to the moments when you have to allow them to learn from the bumps and bruises that life might bring their way. Parenting comes with no manual and no tutorial to read when things (feelings) get broken and need mending.
Differences in parenting vary from one culture to another – with no one right way being better than the other. Learn to listen to your natural instincts as a parent – others often turn to grandma and grandpa or other parents for their words of wisdom and advice. Differences in parenting styles can impact a child’s future achievement.
How to Get the “Wins”:
Here is a list of 9 Epic Parenting Wins that many parents have said helps them be successful and ‘Win’ by preventing the epic parenting battles:
(1) Listen intently and try to understand the child’s point of view. Allow your child to express themselves. Let them know they are understood and that it is okay for them to express themselves. Use empathy and understanding when you talk. “You sound like you are really frustrated. Can you tell me what is bothering you? I want to listen and understand.” It’s important to reach out in love.
(2) Positive reinforcement: Reward the child with positive statements (not things) when a child is listening or doing good behavior. When giving positive reinforcement do so with loving and recognizable positive gestures. Look at them in the eye and say, “it makes me so happy when you wait patiently (can be replaced with any verb- the action, and adverb – describes the action using a positive reinforcer)”
(3) Spend quality time with your children. Each moment shared will bring you closer. Playing and interacting with them builds a great sense of respect. Playing is also great therapy. Allow play dates and activities with other children and use the quality time (with others) as a reward for positive behavior.
(4) Model the behavior you want your child to see. If you yell, your children will model the behavior and learn to yell at others. Children learn through watching others – from infancy to adulthood. It is a fact that we learn culture and tradition through seeing it. The effects of media messages does play a huge part in what our children perceive as being real. Talk with your children about what they watch on TV and be sure they understand what they are watching (and that most of it is not real – it’s just like a play).
(5) Practice positive behaviour: Don’t expect that a child knows what you are talking about. Show the behavior you expect and practice it. For instance, if the child slams the door – instead of getting angry, go over and show the child how to correctly close the door. Be sure to model the behavior you wish to see and you will notice that your child will begin closing the door (by habit) the right way. Notice and praise positive behaviours.
(6) Allow your child to think through things. Show your children that you understand their needs and desires. For instance, your daughter wants a new baby doll that her friend just received as a gift. Instead of getting it for her – instead, ask her how she could get a toy like that? Let them work through their ideas. As a result, parents should give two or three possible options to accomplish their desires, once the ideas are explored.
(7) Always give two to three options with everything. Make sure the last option you give is the one you wish they make. Often times when they are deep in thought, only the last option sticks in their mind and they repeat it unknowingly (once they realize they said it they know they have to follow through). Give options that you are satisfied with so both parties are happy. It’s important to follow through with the final choice.
Discipline and Choices
(8) Each parent must discipline the same and give the same rules. Do not favor one child over the other – each should be treated equally. Always reward the same and give the same. Follow through on what you say or warn. It’s important that they realize that consequences will happen.
(9) Always look at behavior as making a choice – not that the child is a bad boy or girl. Allow them to realize that it is bad choices that get us in trouble. This will encourage them to think about the choices they are making now and recognize ones that will come in the future. In early childhood, let children learn from their decisions/choices. It’s important that the child learn from life consequences while they are children, because when they grow to be adults you will be thankful that they made the right choice, when a bad choice emerges – for example, getting in the car with someone who shouldn’t be driving.
To view the full article, visit epicvictories.com
Global Montessori has been offering childcare, after school care, and the Montessori method of schooling since 1988. We accept infants, toddlers, kindergarten and elementary school students living in and around the Langley area and beyond. For more information, visit http://globalmontessorischool.com